The kettle cull (Part 2)

5 Dec

THE kettle cull took place today. Empress Lu Zhi, the managing director’s PA, came darting out of her office in a surge of serge as two boilersuited blokes from Central Services entered the editorial floor by the back stairs. It was a co-ordinated swoop. I glanced around for TV cameras.

They rounded up the kettles and forced them onto the back of a covered wagon that was parked behind the building. I expect they’ll be taken to a clearing in a Northumberland forest, allowed to stretch their little legs and have a smoke, then cruelly machine-gunned. That’s the sort of thing that happens here.

People are still steaming about their kettles. Me, I feel a bit like Polish pianist and composer Władysław Szpilman writing this. Not too much. Just a bit.

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