They all come at once . . .

20 Dec

THE Leek Man is poring intently over an internet page on General Jaruzelski, the last communist leader of Poland and the man responsible for introducing martial law to combat civil unrest and the rise of Solidarity.

The Deputy Editor leans over his shoulder, eating a pie.

Deputy Editor: “Who’s that?”

Leek Man: “General Jaruzelski, the last communist leader of Poland.”

Deputy Editor: “What’s he been doing?”

Leek Man: “Nothing, apparently. I was going for a hat-trick, three out of three world leaders to kick the bucket in as many days.”

Deputy Editor: “Pardon?”

Leek Man: “I had a full page devoted to the death of Czech leader Vaclav Havel in Monday’s paper, a full page devoted to the sudden demise of Kim Jong Il in this morning’s paper, and now I’m trawling for a third world leader for tomorrow’s paper. And a couple of weeks ago I saw a picture of General Jaruzelski in hospital and being visited by his old arch enemy Lech Wałęsa, so I was trying my luck.”

Deputy Editor: “Ronald Wolfe’s just died. You could do him.”

Leek Man: “Who’s Ronald Wolfe?”

Deputy Editor: “He was the chap who wrote the comedy series On The Buses.”

Leek Man: “And does that qualify him as a world leader?”

Deputy Editor: “It does in my book. Do a full page on him and I’ll write a sidebar on his best gags.”

Leek Man: “Fair enough. Ding ding. Standing room only. And no eating pies on my bus, you ’orrible little man.”

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